I Love You Shizuru
by ssjx7squall
Summary: ONESHOT Shiznat ATC. Natsuki watches shizuru sleep. Im not a fluff writer really but here is a another short pointless fluff story.


A/N: I'll Try to keep this short. Wow you guys are really are fluff lovers, my last story which was ALL fluff had a record 15 reveiws. Thats the most i have had ever for any one chapter, with abandonment chpt 10 being a close second at 10. Now that thats out of the way, i wanted to tell you guys that yes i know alot is underdeveloped in this story (most of my stories in fact if you read em, thats my problem in writing) but i really needed a quick emotional vent tonight and this kinda did it, i was going to write a chapter for one of my other stories but it was 2 a.m when i sat down to right and that wasnt going to realistically happen if i wanted to get some sleep so sorry about that. Syncope, if you read this you may not like it cus the issue we talked about with my last story is pretty much all that takes places in this one lol but let me know what you think regardless, i welcome negative feedback always. I hope you guys enjoy my late night writing and this is a ONESHOT just so you know

ssjx7squall

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Natsuki slowly opened her eyes, fighting against the light shining through the nearby window's blinds. Closing her eyes again she tried to call up images of the nightmare she had been having before she had woken but the memory of it was already fading away, like water slipping through ones fingers.

Sighing slightly she put her forearm over her eyes before closing them again. _At least it wasn't __**that**__ dream._ She cringed slightly as unwanted memories of dark nights spent shaking and near tears came to mind.

The dream itself was really a mystery to her because she never really had any memory of it upon waking, but the feelings it left behind were definitely felt. Feelings of despair, hopelessness, loneliness, and above all, loss. Many a night she had awoken with a start, sweating and shivering at the same time the urge to cry nearly overwhelming her. She never gave into the urge but she had come really close some nights. After waking from the dream she would roll over in bed and try getting back to sleep, clutching her pillow close in an attempt to fight off the feelings that filled her. If she was lucky she would fall back into a fitful sleep, but most of the time she would spend the night tossing and turning, burying her face into her pillow trying to block out all the thoughts that the silence and "aloneness" of the night brought.

Sighing she shifted her position slightly and started again when she felt a grip tightening about her waste and a small sound of protest sound behind her.

_Shizuru…._

Placing her hand over the one that was across her waste Natsuki smiled. Backing up slightly into the body behind her, enjoying the warmth it brought she closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh.

This was a new occurrence, one she felt she could get used to very easily. She and Shizuru had been sleeping over at each other's homes with increased frequency lately and Natsuki had found that she really enjoyed waking up in her girlfriend's arms. They hadn't done anything beyond just sleeping in the same bed though, she thought while blushing furiously.

A small sleepy giggle issued from the girl behind her. Natsuki cringed. _Even in her sleep she knows when I'm blushing._

As much as Natsuki knew Shizuru was ready for the "next step" in their relationship, she still was very nervous when it came to that particular subject and avoided it at all costs.

Merely sleeping in the same bed had its own…"problems." The first night it happened was at Natsuki's suggestion, one she made blushing of course. She had expected a lot of teasing from Shizuru but received none, which she was extremely grateful for. She would later regret letting her guard down because Shizuru picked up right where she had left off when she saw Natsuki's choice of sleep wear, a pair of black lace panties and a bra.

A finger on her chin and her head tilted to the side Shizuru said, "Ara, did Natsuki have something in mind once we got into bed together? Because I seem to remember hearing something about black lingerie and ---"

She never got to finish the statement as Natsuki had flown across the room, face redder than ever before, clamped a hand over her mouth yelling, "Baka!!"

Natsuki smiled at the memory. Despite what some might have thought, Shizuru was apprehensive in her own way about **that** subject. Even the great Kaichou was nervous about some things though not many, and what she was usually revolved around Natsuki.

That first night both sides seemed nervous to touch the other, despite the fact that they had grown quite close over the past couple of months. Neither really wanted to make the first move, one afraid of intimacy the other scared of being rejected.

It always made Natsuki wonder why she had always felt comfortable holding Shizuru anywhere else but when it came to the bed she was terrified. She didn't really think it had all that much to do with sex.

_It's because I feel vulnerable._

That night they laid awake for a good hour after they had settled into bed, each staring at the other in the darkness, desperately wanting to hold the other and be held by the other but each held off by their own personal barriers. In the end they fell asleep not touching, but upon waking found themselves wrapped in each others arms.

Ignoring the awkwardness of growing more intimate with one another, sleeping together posed other problems. The nightmares that had plagued Natsuki's nights had lessened considerably since her and Shizuru began sharing beds, but they still woke her some nights, leaving her a nervous wreck. Not wanting to worry or bother her girlfriend she had tried to hide them from Shizuru. She began to think she was suspecting something when she began to make comment on how tired Natsuki was all the time, that and the dark rings that had formed under her eyes. Natsuki of course told her it was nothing, that she had been staying up late to study for her exams and make up work, and this seemed to appease Shizuru.

The jig was up when one night she was staying over at Shizuru's. This night was different than others they had spent together, because they had had a fight. Natsuki would have gone home but there was a storm outside that had other ideas. Trying to go home on flooded streets on a motorcycle would have been suicide and Shizuru despite being angry had not allowed Natsuki to leave.

They had fallen asleep back to back, very close but in their current moods, very far apart. Late into the night Natsuki had woken with a start and was once again washed over with the usual feelings brought on by the nightmare but this time she wasn't able to hold back her tears as the feelings were intensified.

Curling up into a ball she began to cry before to arms quickly encircled her and a worried voice asked, "Natsuki? Are you alright?"

She had then turned into the hug and spent the night crying into Shizuru's chest, holding tightly to the other girl. She was never able to give a real explanation as to why she had broken down that night, but every night following Shizuru always made sure, that even if they had been fighting she fell asleep holding Natsuki.

Natsuki smiled and turned around to face the girl holding her. Shizuru made slight protests again but stopped once Natsuki had settled. Looking up into Shizuru's sleeping face Natsuki was filled with a deep warmth.

_You always look after me, don't you?_

She raised her hand and gently stroked her girlfriend's cheek, brushing her hair behind her ear. Shizuru made no noises but seemed to lean slightly into the touch a smile on her face.

Natsuki smiled. She would never be able to explain the joy that filled her seeing Shizuru like this. Now, she really understood why Shizuru enjoyed watching her sleep so much. Often she had woken to find Shizuru laying next to her, gazing upon her lovingly while idly stroking her hair.

She laughed slightly. _I usually don't wake up before her. I should really enjoy this._

Her eyes began to travel across Shizuru's face, taking in every detail. _She looks so peaceful_. Fighting the urge to slide up and kiss her, Natsuki contented her self with stroking her cheek.

"Nat...su…ki."

Said girl had to suppress the odd sense of joy she felt building within her when she heard the other girl say her name. "You really do love me…" she said quietly.

Knowing she would have been scolded if Shizuru had been awake for saying such a thing she smiled again. _I really don't know why I keep doubting that. You have done so much for me, and I haven't done a thing for you._

Sadness began to well within her and tears nearly came to her eyes. _You always are so kind to me, you always take care of me. And all I have ever done is hurt you. I am never able to help you in any way because I…I'm just so scared._

Moving her hand down from Shizuru's face, she quickly wrapped her arms around the girl's middle. Burying her face into her neck she began to cry, her grip tightening as if afraid the girl might disappear.

Inhaling Shizuru's scent she fell deeper into despair as she realized she would never be able to do anything for Shizuru that would come close to what she had done for her. She really couldn't describe why she was so taken over by the emotion but she knew it had to do something with the heat that filled her every time she was close to the other girl. It was a double edge sword, it felt great to be with the other girl but it hurt so bad when she thought about all that she had done to her.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a sleepy but worried voice said, "Natsuki… What's wrong?" She felt a hand on the back of her head and the other girls head lean against hers. The arm around her tightened and she was pulled closer.

The heat within Natsuki seemed to explode in her chest. She had never felt so comforted and loved as she did at that moment. She knew at that moment that she could finally do it. She was finally able to admit it to her self that what she felt was real. She had been fighting it for so long, fearing all that it might imply to admit it to herself and Shizuru. Afraid that she would hurt Shizuru if she said it and later found out that it wasn't real. She had wanted to be sure for herself and for Shizuru before she ever considered saying it aloud. But now she was ready.

She was ready to say the words that she knew Shizuru had been waiting so long to hear.

"I love you Shizuru."

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A/N: Well if your reading this i suppose you made it through the story alive, i hope you enjoyed it : ) Sorry for makin Natsuki cry again... That seems to be a reoccurring thing in my fics, ha well i guess its a trademark i have, hopefully depending on how things go tommarow evenening i might have a chapter for Together forever out, no promises though.

sorry no omake this time, the idea i had kinda fizzeld out

ssjx7squall


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